My Sixth

People so seldom say I love you And then it's either too late or love goes. So when I tell you I love you, It doesn't mean I know you'll never go, Only that I wish you didn't have to. I have no regrets in my life. I think that everything happens to you for a reason. The hard times that you go through build character, making me a much stronger person. I would much rather have regrets about not doing what people said, than regretting not doing what my heart led me to and wondering what life had been like if I'd just been myself. Should I Smile Because You're My Friend Or Cry Because Thats All We'll Ever Be? I was reborn when you first kissed me. Part of me died when you left me. But now I still live, waiting for the day you return to me. You are always there for me and so you give me the courage to stand alone,I know in reality we can't be together, so I just close my eyes and you're right here with me... in my dreams you're mine forever. The worst feeling in the world is giving all the love you have and knowing it will never be returned.

As I sat here I was trying to think of all the times you hurt me and made me cry. . . Hoping and wishing it would make me love you less. But it didn't. Because all the times I could remember were the ones when you showed me that you cared. I didn't want to believe that you ever did. Everyday you used to take time out to listen to me. You talked to me, smiled at me, laughed with me, and have fun with me. Well, I talk, smile and laugh too, but inside I'm hurting. Deep down it hurts to be with you because I love you and you are only a friend to me now. I'm not supposed to love you, I'm not supposed to care, I'm not supposed to live my life wishing you were here, I'm not supposed to wonder where you are and what to do everyday and night, I'm sorry I can't help myself, I'm still in love with you.

The weirdest thing happened the other morning...I woke up with tears in my eyes...and one rolling down my cheek...and I knew I must have been dreaming of you again. One day you'll ask me, which is more important to you? "Me or your life" I'll say, "My life" and you'll go and leave me with out knowing that you are my life.
You broke me, you broke my heart, you broke everything! You turned my
world upside down and inside out,BUT I know it was worth it for that one moment of love we had, it's a shame it went bad....
But Love is a precious gift that people try to hold onto until the end of time, even when there is nothing left to hold.

R.I.P Big Uncle

R.I.P Big uncle!! Gotta head back to setiawan to attend my uncle funeral tomorrow. It's been a long long time ago since i went back.

My fifth...

I just don't feel like I know myself very well right now, so how can I be sure about anything? Most of the time I feel so awkward, you know, like I don't belong in my own skin, I get frustrated at everything, I could just scream and there's no reason for it, I just hate everything. I'm not saying I have nothing. I'm not saying I'm gone completely. It's just sometimes it's all a bit too much to handle. Sometimes I feel like it's too much. I'm not going to do anything stupid because I know it will get better, it has to right? Otherwise there wouldn't be anyone who would live past their(oh i'm lost) years. But for now, just for now, it hurts. Words hurt more than anything else can, because they last, sometimes forever.
I don't know what I want in life. I don't know what I want right now. All I know is that I'm hurting so much inside that it's eating me, and one day, there won't be any more of me left. Everything that ever cause a tear to trickle down my cheeks, I run away and hide from it. But now, everything is unwinding and finding its way back towards me. And I don't know what to do. I just know that the pain I felt so long ago, it's hurting ten times more. Because of you!
The only thing I can think to myself is...how can I seem so....perfectly fine in the morning. Why do I smile like nothing is wrong? And how does not one single person notice that I'm not okay? Every morning you get up and put on a fake smile...but what if one morning you didn't? Would anyone notice? Have you ever felt so alone and nothing makes sense? Well that's how I feel right now...I feel like I'm facing everything myself, with nothing but tears and a fake smile...
I don't know if I'm getting better or just used to the pain.

Why can't you just love me for who I am?
I've learned it takes years to build up trust, but only seconds to destroy it.
Life doesn't hurt until you think about how much things have changed, who you've lost along the way, and how much of it was your fault.
Cause fucking up takes practice, and I feel I'm well rehearsed.
I don't deserve you...I never did.
Behind my smile is everything you'll never understand.
You don't understand me and you never will. So don't start that shit 'bout knowin' how I feel. My life is full of empty promises and broken dreams. I'm hoping things will look up, and right when they do, there's always something to fuck it up, and we're back at square one.
Do you know what it's like to be me? Go through something not everyone can see? Do you know what it's like to walk in my shoes? Please stop judging me simply cause I'm not you...think I'd do better on my own, no friends, no fights,just me...alone
I fuckin hate this life..

It's so hard to show everyone that I'm doing fine without you when deep inside I'm not. It's hard because I have to smile when I really can't hold back my tears...cause as far as I can see, you're doing fine without me... You know what I just realized? I'm in love with you, yes, but I'm in love with the you I used to know...you've changed too much. All I can do is hope for the real you to come back...and then maybe then, being in love won't be so bad.
There are so many things I wish I could tell you, but I can't. I'm not sure if you would ever understand because I don't understand half of it. I want to be with you so bad, but I'm so afraid of getting hurt and because of that, I end up getting hurt more. I can sit here and say that I don't care about you and that I'm not going to let you hurt me, and just by saying that I know that you can and have. It's not your fault, it never is. It's me.
I'm tired of being nice to people who don't give a shit about me.
SO FUCK YOU ALL!!

My fourth post.

Was on M.C today! Can't stop vomitting and shitting. :D but so sad my boss thought i hangover that's why didn't go to work. Anyway think of writing something here again. Here goes...

It's funny how a person can break your heart, and you can still love them with all the little pieces.
Realized that when you left, I lost a part of me.
A million words would not bring you back, I know because I tried, neither would a million tears, I know because I cried.
My heart was taken by you before, broken by you, and now it is in million pieces because of you.
If you love me like you told me, please be careful with my heart. You can take it,but just don't break it or my world will fall apart.

My 3rd Post.

I thought I loved her, but she had to break my heart for me to know what true love really is. A failing love is like desperately hanging on to something precious not wanting to give up but your hands feel the pain.
And, when you finally let go,you're free from any pain but your hands are empty.
What do you live for when all you were living for is gone?
We cannot beg someone to stay if they want to leave and be with someone else.
We have to admit that love doesn't give us the power to own a person.
This is what love means...SACRIFICE.

Deep in my heart, I'm suffering,
knowing that I've lost you.
On the outside, I'm living,
pretending that I've forgotten you
I just want one day to go by
where I'm not pretending I'm happy!
Once upon a time I was falling in love,
but now I’m only falling apart.
I could fill a thousand pages
telling you how I felt
and still you would not understand.
So now I leave without a sound,
except that of my heart shattering
as it hits the ground.

I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh,
but I never knew looking back on the laughs would make me cry.
Every morning I wish it were night again,
for it is only at night and in the depth of my dreams that I can feel you,
and you still belong to me.
If you never get your heart broken,
you'll never learn to love.
He's got her falling head over heals for him
and I can't even get her to stumble..
Love is hard to get,
but harder to let go.
Love is short,
but forgetting is long.
You'll never understand why I hurt so much
because you're not the one who is breaking apart,
you're not the one who is left behind,
you're not the one who loved too much,
and you're not the one who is holding on to someone who is gone...
You don't have to let it slip away but you want to,
I don't want to let it slip away but I have to.
It is only when I realized I could lose you
that I realized I could never lose my love for you.



Loving someone doesn't mean
you have to be with that someone,
because sometimes Fate plays a fool on us
and we are not meant to be together.
But still, there is love between us.
The hardest thing to do is watch someone
you love, love someone else.

I love em lights

Yoji Biomehanika@Kl Live.

Cun wei..

Second Post. Fuiyor Poser.

Me, I'm scared of everything, I'm scared of who I am, what I saw, what I did, but most of all I am scared of walking out of this room and never feeling for the rest of my life, the way I feel when I'm with you.

If I hadn't met you, I wouldn't like you. If I hadn't liked you, I wouldn't love you. If I wouldn't love you, I wouldn't miss you. But I did, I do and I will.
I can't talk to you anymore, it's not that I am mad at you, it's just that when I talk to you I realize how much I love you and when I realize how much I love you, I realize I can't have you and that makes me love you even more.
Sometimes you think you've gotten over a person, but when you see her smile you suddenly realize you're just pretending you're over her to ease the pain of knowing that she will never be yours.
Look in my eyes and you will find me, but look in my heart and you will find you.
You know you love someone when you want them to be happy even if their happiness means that you're not part of it.

I swore to myself it wouldn't happen again. I vowed to myself that this was the end. The end of this longing, this yearning so strong... I said I was over you, but oh I was so wrong.
I'm not over you because I don't like you anymore, I'm over you because I've realized that you're never going to want me like I want you.
Why did I have to fall for you when you just keep falling for him?
We don't stop loving someone, we simply learn to live without them.
Missing you isn't the hard part, knowing I once had you is what breaks my heart.
And there you are..holding his hand..and I'm lost..trying to understand..
If you're going to make me cry, at least be there to wipe away the tears.
Everyone tells me I should forget about you, you don't deserve me. They're right, you don't deserve me, but I deserve you.
Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew.
It takes a couple seconds to say Hello, but forever to say Goodbye.
Nothing hurts more than realizing she meant everything to you, but you meant nothing to her.
Moving on is simple, it's what you leave behind that makes it so difficult.

I don't miss her, I miss who I thought she was.
The pain of having a broken heart is not so much as to kill you, yet not so little as to let you live.

There's this place in me where your finger tips still rest... your kisses still linger and your whispers softly echo... It's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me.
I wonder, when you look into my eyes and watch my heart shatter, does it break your heart too, even crack it a little bit?

My first post. So sad!

You've never felt pain until you've felt love.
You don't die from a broken heart.. you only wish you did.
I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

The hardest part of dreaming about someone you love is having to wake up.
I just realized, it's so lonely being free.
Someday never really comes, does it?
No one can promise they’ll never hurt you, because at one time or another they will. The real promise is if the time you spent together will be worth the pain in the end.

You don't realize how much you care about someone until they don't care about you.

I was born the day I met you, lived a while when you loved me, died a little when we broke apart.
It's always the same in every relationship, there is always one person crying and wishing to get back together, while the other doesn't even remember the things they've been through. I hate that I have to be the one who remembers every little detail while you can't seem to remember me at all.

You can't ever let go of all the feelings, But you need to let go of him.

The worst way to love someone is to sit next to them, knowing they don't love you back.

We laughed until we had to cry, we loved right down to our last goodbye, but over the years we'll smile and recall for just one moment we had it all.

Love unreturned is like a question without an answer.

I would like to stay a secret, like walking in the dark, if no one knows you, no one cares and no one breaks your heart.

Loving someone that doesn't love you is like reaching for a star - You know you'll never reach it but you just got to keep trying.

Love that remains longest in your heart is the one that is not returned.